The past

To all the people who say to be in the present and just keep moving forward: BS. Gosh people don't know what they are talking about. Don't listen to anything that anyone says unless it feels right. BS BS. They say things and don't know what the heck they are saying. For years I have been trying to fix all my crap by "moving forward (exaggerated negative sarcastic voice)" and "being in the now" but really all I have been doing is running away from real issues in my past that I don't feel like I can mentally deal with. Running and running and running. It's amazing how much people think they know and how entitled they feel to give their opinion as if it were fact. "Girl, I was there, that is NOT what happened."
They have their issues too so I will be nice. I understand, they simply want to feel loved in their own mixed up way. Validation. Feeling important. We seek after all these things and forget that by being true to our thoughts and feelings we are drawn closer to those around us who struggle and there is no greater feeling than sharing your deepest, scariest inner self with someone for no other reason than the need to share. And then, when you feel understood, you are ready to understand.
Yeah, yeah, I talk about all of this as if I know. I'm just saying that this is it, this is real. These are my feelings: unadulterated and with no frills. No more filters. Well, some. I guess no one can ever really say "no more." We don't just choose to stop doing something and then be done, no sane person at least. Yeah, people quit smoking on a whim, but any true behavior that has occurred again and again is connected to our mental makeup. We can't will our neurons to fire a different way or disconnect memories to experiences.
I'm done.

Fix me, Passion Pit.
Passion Pit - Kingdom Come