I have played my father racquetball at 1pm every day this week except Wed cuz he was too sore. There are some life lessons to be learned from sports. I realized that you can want it more and try harder but neither of those things will make your game better. They usually end up making your game worse. Or at least they make it less enjoyable. For the most part, the less I cared, the better I played. But that's not a straight road. It takes swinging from side to side and realizing where I'm off balance to get to the middle. And when I get there is usually when it becomes more confusing. Because I want so badly to be in "the zone" (or in flow, as most professionals put it), when I get there I seem to hold on like it's the only thing that matters in life. It feels so good that I squeeze until I kill it. That's not how life works. Well, that is how life works but we don't intend for it to work that way.
After a long struggle of trying to stop caring so much so that I can have fun, when I get there I sort of have to start caring again so I don't go too far into not caring. It may not be that complicated for other people, they may have a more natural tendency to stay in a good area in their personal spectrum, but I know that for others it is a constant struggle. Once something works, it stops working. That's not true for everything but for feelings and thoughts I have found it more true than not.
Capital Cities does this amazing cover of the song Sinead O'Connor sung but I guess Prince wrote.
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