Reminder

I get this weird feeling in my mouth sometime that really bugs me. I mean, really bugs. Obviously no big deal, right? But it messes with me. It can turn a good situation into a bad one. I was doing my meditation thing last night where I don't really meditate but I let myself think about whatever I need to think about and this feeling came again. Usually it comes when I'm feeling a little self-conscious. And I was like hello? what do you think you are doing? So I attacked. I gave myself a good 6 min to only focus on that feeling.

I realized that the feeling itself isn't bad, I just think it is. Well, duh. And any time it comes, I end up devoting all my attention to it because I find it such a threat. That attention comes in the form of fighting it, trying to force myself to accept it, trying to distract myself; things that give it more energy because I am trying to make it go away. Well, we know that you can't make thoughts go away. Any effort to make a thought go away becomes fuel for the fire. So I started to look into what thoughts I associate with this feeling. Then I started to describe the feeling to myself and I came up with mini marshmallows in my lips. SOOOO this morning when I wake up and get the feeling? Marshmallows is the first thing that pops in my mind. Suddenly the feeling isn't so frightening anymore. I mean, it's not the Stay Puffed marshmallow man from Ghost Busters. Instead, I think of marshmallow guns and s'mores and chemicals and how it turns to black tar if you microwave it for too long.

I bought this CD last night. Beautiful music.
Sin Fang - Look at the Light